I relate to this so much. I’m commenting with a profile photo from 2018 because I don’t have any new photos of myself that I love and I’ve been putting off taking new headshots because of the extra pounds, the extra wrinkles, the extra critical voice in my head. It’s a vicious cycle!
Thanks for this piece and for sharing your honesty. My professional head shot was taken in 2011/2012 and the photo I use here was 2012/2013. 🤦🏻♀️ I’ve been on this journey of accepting my body and it’s changed and I think it’s an important one all mothers have to move through. It’s part of the transition that no one traditionally talks about or acknowledges.
Thank you for writing this! I read it Saturday morning and it's been in my head since. I relate and resonate so much. I always suffered with low self-esteem and am very self-critical of my appearance due to bullying. But at 28, I felt like I was finally THERE. Accepting, feeling so comfortable in my body and loving what I saw in the mirror. Then the pandemic hit, then pregnancy, then postpartum, now I have a toddler. Years have gone by and I haven't been my own priority. So I expect that 28-year-old in the mirror, but I'm 33 this year. It's a total disconnect and my negative self-talk can get so bad. I scrutinise pictures of myself, like you mention, and I try to remember that EVERYONE is getting older. A way I have got round it is have my husband take pictures of me / my daughter and not look at them. Months later, I may see them and I look back on them with kinder eyes, instead of in the moment. He took so many of me newly postpartum and I remember the chant "fat, disgusting, gross, ugly, tired" - and now I look back on them and realise how precious, how special and how WONDERFUL I look.
I'm working on things at the moment and trying to draw from sources to help, and this newsletter couldn't have come at a better time. Thank you xx
It's so hard to deal with the changes in your body post-kids and as you age with them. Especially when celebrity moms seem to bounce back to their old selves instantly. The lie of beauty standards is you don't know what insecurities all these "ideal" women have or how many hours of hair and makeup they needed or how many lighting changes they went through on a photoshoot. What I'm working hard at now, to get away from critical self-image, is focusing on health habits that make me feel better mentally and physically, ignoring how I look. Without a personal chef and trainer, I'm SOL, so I may as well try to focus on how I feel vs how I appear in my head.
Yes this happens to me every few years - I need to catch up with how my external self looks! And this year I really feel like I need new headshots so I have professional current photos! It’s odd to grow older bc it always felt so distant bc I was obviously always young when I was…well, young! 😂 Thus far I don’t mind it, I purposely never dyed my grey hairs so that keeps coming little by little and I like that I don’t feel the need to hide it. I do feel the need to push myself to dress and dress up so I still feel attractive and that I care, but ageing doesn’t (yet?) feel like an obstacle from my current perspective in my late 40s. We’re all going to die eventually and the only available road is to get older on the way there. It’s an odd sensation the closer it gets, but an interesting one!
Great piece! The pro photos are so hard! My last shoot was a couple of years ago and I don’t use any of them - the filter was off and I just didn’t love what was looking back so I use more candid shots and my pro ones from 2019 which I know is FIVE whole years ago… kindness is key isn’t it. ✨💖✨
I do resonate with this because the version of myself I see in my head is still about 32 (I am 36). My body changed after having my 4 year old, and I honestly haven’t been all that bothered by that, but I also don’t spend a lot of time looking at it either. My profile picture is a family picture from Christmas, so I am at least not avoiding recent pictures even though I am not fond of the fact that my hair seems like I have more grays than I thought it did, despite highlighting it in January. I rarely wear makeup (I am an infant teacher, so I spend my days getting snot on me or spit up on), so I am still at the point where I do appreciate how far a 5 minute amount of effort can go there.
We are planning to get some spring photos done of our family so that we will have some professional level shots. I am sure that will be my profile photo for much of this year.
Oh this is so good. This is the only social media I actively use and this picture is from the fall. But all other social media is old photos of me. It feels much harder to accept my post pregnancy and my mother body because of everything society tells us. In my own head, I’m still 22. But I am growing to love and recognize this version of myself in the mirror.
Oh Kylie-Ann: I resonate with this so strongly. And yes, I have absolutely felt this: the first time was when I was at uni and saw my bum in a mirror and it didn't look like my own. And now, I don't really recognise this enlarged version of myself, but I genuinely love her (though I want to get STRONG for 40). You write so well (and I love your branding). x
I relate to this so much. I’m commenting with a profile photo from 2018 because I don’t have any new photos of myself that I love and I’ve been putting off taking new headshots because of the extra pounds, the extra wrinkles, the extra critical voice in my head. It’s a vicious cycle!
Thanks for this piece and for sharing your honesty. My professional head shot was taken in 2011/2012 and the photo I use here was 2012/2013. 🤦🏻♀️ I’ve been on this journey of accepting my body and it’s changed and I think it’s an important one all mothers have to move through. It’s part of the transition that no one traditionally talks about or acknowledges.
Thank you for writing this! I read it Saturday morning and it's been in my head since. I relate and resonate so much. I always suffered with low self-esteem and am very self-critical of my appearance due to bullying. But at 28, I felt like I was finally THERE. Accepting, feeling so comfortable in my body and loving what I saw in the mirror. Then the pandemic hit, then pregnancy, then postpartum, now I have a toddler. Years have gone by and I haven't been my own priority. So I expect that 28-year-old in the mirror, but I'm 33 this year. It's a total disconnect and my negative self-talk can get so bad. I scrutinise pictures of myself, like you mention, and I try to remember that EVERYONE is getting older. A way I have got round it is have my husband take pictures of me / my daughter and not look at them. Months later, I may see them and I look back on them with kinder eyes, instead of in the moment. He took so many of me newly postpartum and I remember the chant "fat, disgusting, gross, ugly, tired" - and now I look back on them and realise how precious, how special and how WONDERFUL I look.
I'm working on things at the moment and trying to draw from sources to help, and this newsletter couldn't have come at a better time. Thank you xx
It's so hard to deal with the changes in your body post-kids and as you age with them. Especially when celebrity moms seem to bounce back to their old selves instantly. The lie of beauty standards is you don't know what insecurities all these "ideal" women have or how many hours of hair and makeup they needed or how many lighting changes they went through on a photoshoot. What I'm working hard at now, to get away from critical self-image, is focusing on health habits that make me feel better mentally and physically, ignoring how I look. Without a personal chef and trainer, I'm SOL, so I may as well try to focus on how I feel vs how I appear in my head.
Yes this happens to me every few years - I need to catch up with how my external self looks! And this year I really feel like I need new headshots so I have professional current photos! It’s odd to grow older bc it always felt so distant bc I was obviously always young when I was…well, young! 😂 Thus far I don’t mind it, I purposely never dyed my grey hairs so that keeps coming little by little and I like that I don’t feel the need to hide it. I do feel the need to push myself to dress and dress up so I still feel attractive and that I care, but ageing doesn’t (yet?) feel like an obstacle from my current perspective in my late 40s. We’re all going to die eventually and the only available road is to get older on the way there. It’s an odd sensation the closer it gets, but an interesting one!
Great piece! The pro photos are so hard! My last shoot was a couple of years ago and I don’t use any of them - the filter was off and I just didn’t love what was looking back so I use more candid shots and my pro ones from 2019 which I know is FIVE whole years ago… kindness is key isn’t it. ✨💖✨
I do resonate with this because the version of myself I see in my head is still about 32 (I am 36). My body changed after having my 4 year old, and I honestly haven’t been all that bothered by that, but I also don’t spend a lot of time looking at it either. My profile picture is a family picture from Christmas, so I am at least not avoiding recent pictures even though I am not fond of the fact that my hair seems like I have more grays than I thought it did, despite highlighting it in January. I rarely wear makeup (I am an infant teacher, so I spend my days getting snot on me or spit up on), so I am still at the point where I do appreciate how far a 5 minute amount of effort can go there.
We are planning to get some spring photos done of our family so that we will have some professional level shots. I am sure that will be my profile photo for much of this year.
Oh this is so good. This is the only social media I actively use and this picture is from the fall. But all other social media is old photos of me. It feels much harder to accept my post pregnancy and my mother body because of everything society tells us. In my own head, I’m still 22. But I am growing to love and recognize this version of myself in the mirror.
Beautiful read :) thank you so much for sharing my piece as well!
Oh Kylie-Ann: I resonate with this so strongly. And yes, I have absolutely felt this: the first time was when I was at uni and saw my bum in a mirror and it didn't look like my own. And now, I don't really recognise this enlarged version of myself, but I genuinely love her (though I want to get STRONG for 40). You write so well (and I love your branding). x