I definitely have times like these (this week is one of them). In those moments I try to remind myself that balance doesn't mean all of it is balanced at once, but rather that it might be balanced over the course of years. It's OK for it to look a bit lopsided for awhile. Hang in there- from everything you've written, it sounds like you got this!
Thank you Lindsey, you are so right. In terms of the bigger picture, it probably does feel a lot more balanced. I just need a reminder to take a little distance sometimes to see it. Thank you for reading.
Oh my god! ALL. OF. THIS resonates so, so much. I have a 2 & 5 year old. Trying to resurrect myself again as a working, creative human. And it is HARD. I too end up finally downstairs at 9/10pm too brain dead to anything. And I too prioritise doing things with my kids at weekends and non-nursery days and my house shows it! The rare hours I do get to myself, I never know what to prioritise first. There is never enough time, where I feel energised and rested and creative in which to utilise that energy. The time I do carve out for myself, ends up being after a really shitty night with the kids up or the house is in such a state I am forced to give it my full attention… Also, I tried to leave teaching, but job hunting after 2.5 years out, and I am shocked at how much jobs expect for such little money! So I’ve gone back into teaching because it’s the only job that I can do part-time and not be earning peanuts. We also had to drop our kid’s nursery days because my husband couldn’t find enough free-lance work to justify the cost. And school holidays absolutely wreck me too! I get worked up about spending quality time with my school kid but after 4 days of having them both at home I am desperately googling any random holiday camp I can find, yeah sure, £35 for a day with strangers playing sports… sign me up!!! 🤣🤣🙈🤷🏻♀️🫠
Oh yes Katie that sounds all so familiar. I wish I had gone for the holiday club this easter for just one day of no questions 😂 oh my gosh that’s comforting to know we aren’t the only ones in many ways. The freelance situation is maddening. I wish nursery was more forgiving in that sense. For examples less notice period or more adhoc options but this is the reality and it’s good to know that it’s not just us having to make these decisions. It is so not easy.
You are definitely not the only ones.. it is so hard! Slightly different for me now, as mine are older.. holiday clubs are still a god send for the 9 year old... and I’m less bothered (precious about) where she goes 😆 If only they had clubs for moody, whiny teenagers.. I’d be all set! 😉🤣 It does get easier guys... hang on in there! 🥰 Oh, and stop being so damn hard on yourselves!!! You are AMAZING and trying to juggle at least THREE FULL TIME JOBS!! Delegate as much as you can and try to show yourself the love, kindness and compassion you ABSOLUTELY 100% deserve!!! 💕😊❤️
This is SO relatable. I feel like I can't prioritise at all, and I see other people who seem to just cope with household tasks, child rearing and also work and self care and I don't understand it at all? I've come to accept my house is perpetually a mess and that's just the way it is 🥲
Aw man me too Ellen. It was the carpet beetles I felt judgment from in the end and now trying to keep it a little more tidy is just too much! It is so hard finding the balance. I don’t know if anyone else finds it easy or maybe they have help?? I know my lack of “village” and family near by certainly doesn’t help. Thank you so much for reading.
It's exactly that. I gave to constantly remind myself that other people have a bigger village (we also don't have much family nearby or any regular childcare) and there really is no underestimating how hard that makes it!
Kylie, have you heard of the book The Power Pause? It was recently published here in the US (not sure of UK availability) and it’s in my TBR list but I really love the authors work and message and I was reminded of her when reading your piece. I’ve been assured it’s suitable for all types of careers, including freelancers and creatives. This is a classic case of it not being you that’s the problem, it’s the system! And unfortunately it’s mom that has to bear the brunt of the consequences of a dysfunctional system. The best we can do in the moment is believe in ourselves, take care of ourselves, find support, and keep going. You’re doing it!! And that’s worth celebrating.
Thank you for this Ashley. This does sound very interesting! I think I know that logically it is a systemic issue, but often I feel like the only one affected by bad luck and limitations having children and also the expectation that I should be doing more etc! I will definitely look into that book. Thank you.
Thank you for writing this. I find myself in such a similar place, looking for work, but also the struggle that comes when there is actually work to do and how to balance at all. It is refreshing to hear someone else’s experience.
I definitely have times like these (this week is one of them). In those moments I try to remind myself that balance doesn't mean all of it is balanced at once, but rather that it might be balanced over the course of years. It's OK for it to look a bit lopsided for awhile. Hang in there- from everything you've written, it sounds like you got this!
Thank you Lindsey, you are so right. In terms of the bigger picture, it probably does feel a lot more balanced. I just need a reminder to take a little distance sometimes to see it. Thank you for reading.
Oh my god! ALL. OF. THIS resonates so, so much. I have a 2 & 5 year old. Trying to resurrect myself again as a working, creative human. And it is HARD. I too end up finally downstairs at 9/10pm too brain dead to anything. And I too prioritise doing things with my kids at weekends and non-nursery days and my house shows it! The rare hours I do get to myself, I never know what to prioritise first. There is never enough time, where I feel energised and rested and creative in which to utilise that energy. The time I do carve out for myself, ends up being after a really shitty night with the kids up or the house is in such a state I am forced to give it my full attention… Also, I tried to leave teaching, but job hunting after 2.5 years out, and I am shocked at how much jobs expect for such little money! So I’ve gone back into teaching because it’s the only job that I can do part-time and not be earning peanuts. We also had to drop our kid’s nursery days because my husband couldn’t find enough free-lance work to justify the cost. And school holidays absolutely wreck me too! I get worked up about spending quality time with my school kid but after 4 days of having them both at home I am desperately googling any random holiday camp I can find, yeah sure, £35 for a day with strangers playing sports… sign me up!!! 🤣🤣🙈🤷🏻♀️🫠
Oh yes Katie that sounds all so familiar. I wish I had gone for the holiday club this easter for just one day of no questions 😂 oh my gosh that’s comforting to know we aren’t the only ones in many ways. The freelance situation is maddening. I wish nursery was more forgiving in that sense. For examples less notice period or more adhoc options but this is the reality and it’s good to know that it’s not just us having to make these decisions. It is so not easy.
You are definitely not the only ones.. it is so hard! Slightly different for me now, as mine are older.. holiday clubs are still a god send for the 9 year old... and I’m less bothered (precious about) where she goes 😆 If only they had clubs for moody, whiny teenagers.. I’d be all set! 😉🤣 It does get easier guys... hang on in there! 🥰 Oh, and stop being so damn hard on yourselves!!! You are AMAZING and trying to juggle at least THREE FULL TIME JOBS!! Delegate as much as you can and try to show yourself the love, kindness and compassion you ABSOLUTELY 100% deserve!!! 💕😊❤️
Thank you, Eva! ❤️
🤣🤣 It is so hard to juggle it all.. I feel you 🥰
This is SO relatable. I feel like I can't prioritise at all, and I see other people who seem to just cope with household tasks, child rearing and also work and self care and I don't understand it at all? I've come to accept my house is perpetually a mess and that's just the way it is 🥲
Aw man me too Ellen. It was the carpet beetles I felt judgment from in the end and now trying to keep it a little more tidy is just too much! It is so hard finding the balance. I don’t know if anyone else finds it easy or maybe they have help?? I know my lack of “village” and family near by certainly doesn’t help. Thank you so much for reading.
It's exactly that. I gave to constantly remind myself that other people have a bigger village (we also don't have much family nearby or any regular childcare) and there really is no underestimating how hard that makes it!
Kylie, have you heard of the book The Power Pause? It was recently published here in the US (not sure of UK availability) and it’s in my TBR list but I really love the authors work and message and I was reminded of her when reading your piece. I’ve been assured it’s suitable for all types of careers, including freelancers and creatives. This is a classic case of it not being you that’s the problem, it’s the system! And unfortunately it’s mom that has to bear the brunt of the consequences of a dysfunctional system. The best we can do in the moment is believe in ourselves, take care of ourselves, find support, and keep going. You’re doing it!! And that’s worth celebrating.
Thank you for this Ashley. This does sound very interesting! I think I know that logically it is a systemic issue, but often I feel like the only one affected by bad luck and limitations having children and also the expectation that I should be doing more etc! I will definitely look into that book. Thank you.
Thank you for writing this. I find myself in such a similar place, looking for work, but also the struggle that comes when there is actually work to do and how to balance at all. It is refreshing to hear someone else’s experience.
Thanks for reading, Emma. I feel so grateful to hear I am not the only one who feels this way, thank you ❤️