I had a rare opportunity last weekend to meet friends in London. I took the train and to get to the station I took the shortcut. The shortcut is a shorter route via a tree covered path that lines the railway track behind our estate, rather than walking through the estate and down a hill so steep it has a sign that lets more cumbersome vehicles know that it is practically a slide. The path meanders behind houses for what used to feel like forever on the morning commute, but on Sunday didn’t feel long enough. I dawdled to watch the low autumn sun filter through the leaves creating a glittering path of dappled light ahead and I stopped to admire the burning glow of the reddening leaves as the light passed through them. It was lovely.
I wondered if I would have appreciated this path had I been more used to it, if it was still part of my everyday. I am unable to go that way usually, the steep stairs at the end of the path that lead down to the station car park are a hazard for little feet and completely impossible with a double buggy laden with two small children. It was a selling point to the location of the house, actually - cutting down the walk into town by ten whole minutes. A fact I do ponder every now and then as I drag myself down the hill behind the double buggy, taking the boys down to the library or soft play.
Having the children with me often forces me to take the longer route, but I have been known to enjoy going the long way round. Back in 2016, long before children, I was inspired by my friends to walk the Isle of Wight coastal path on my own. (Although I did it over five days and they did it in 24 hours). I really treasure the memories of that trip, the dramatic cliff edges and gloomy skies are framed in my mind, collaged like a cheap postcard.
That same year I walked to and from work during a train and tube strike. I lived in Streatham Hill and worked in Tottenham Court Road, so the two hour stroll was no easy task, but I relished the opportunity then for both the training and the excuse to see London in a way I hadn’t before. I walked down to the river through St James’s park, across the river at Lambeth bridge just before Vauxhall, then down into Brixton via Stockwell. I saw parts of London I had never seen before. I saw tower blocks up close that I had long admired from a distance and it was great seeing the bustling communities coming out onto the pavements in the evening.
Nowadays obviously you could work from home, but we couldn’t then and my alternative was to get on a overcrowded train, with most services cancelled or sit in a packed bus crawling through gridlocked traffic. I had become quite frightened of travelling in crowded environments. It made me extremely anxious to the point I would often avoid busy services altogether. Most of the time I worked in Tottenham Court Road I travelled into work by bus, leaving the house before any of my housemates had woken up, just to avoid the crowds.
To travel the long way round in these circumstances may have been a decision made to lessen my anxiety, but it meant that I had less time to sleep and socialise and often meant I spent too much time in the office, avoiding the busy trains home. It wasn’t healthy, but I have fond memories of those bus journeys and especially that walk through central London. I felt like a proper Londoner regularly seeing the city before most people had arrived in and it was probably a time when it felt closest to being “home”.
Now I take the long way round not because of anxiety but because I have accessibility issues. The double buggy simply cannot go up (or down) steps. I use the step-free option on CityMapper and have found on some journeys by train there are stations we just can’t get off at as there are no lifts or the lifts are not working.
We moved here just before our first child was born and so I am actually very used to the step-free life in the place we live now but it is times like at the weekend, when I was able to take the shortcut, I realise what I am missing out on. Or rather, I see the alternative in a new light.
It makes me wonder what routes I take with the children I would miss out on if I didn’t have to go that way. I know they love walking along side the main road down to the station, whizzing down the hill at a speed that leaves me almost running down the hill behind them. They love watching the cars follow alongside us, the train travelling across the bridge in the distance, the diggers at work and the roofer on the house across the road. The other day we even saw a sign painter draw a bike on the cycle path. “You don’t see that everyday!” I shouted to them over the hood of the buggy conscious that I am beginning to sound like my Dad.
Going the long way round can also mean taking it slowly, taking your time. Most days we aren’t in a rush. The reason I leave the house most days is just to get out somewhere, rather than needing to be anywhere in particular and so to be able to take our time and stop to look and be in the moment is a real privilege. Like walking to and from work during the train strike, I thought to myself then how lucky I was that I had the time to do it. I think now of needing to be back from work to nursery pick up or needing to get home to feed the children and put them to bed at a decent hour, it was a real luxury to be able to wonder and whilst I knew it then, I really appreciate it now.
In a way merely having the children around opens my eyes up to wonder, to appreciate the world for all its beauty and magic. It is an honour to be able to see the world from this new perspective and for all the moaning I do (and god, do I moan…) I am so appreciative of that.
Has having children changed your relationship with the place you live?
Do you find yourself taking the long way round?
I’d love to hear your thoughts, please do join me in the comments.
I am at the beach without my three children this weekend. It's been interesting to reflect back on how much time I used to have before them - not good or bad just different. I have relished though, in walking the beach for over an hour every morning with nowhere else to be. Thanks for sharing this lovely reflection.
Beautiful Kylie..: craving some short cuts and different views here! Grateful to have one suspended in time here on hols. ✨🙏